Complete Stories and Poems of Edgar Allen Poe by Edgar Allan Poe

Author:Edgar Allan Poe [Poe, Edgar Allan]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-307-96248-5
Publisher: Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group
Published: 2012-07-03T16:00:00+00:00

X-ING A PARAGRAB

As it is well known that the “wise men” came “from the East,” and as Mr. Touch-and-go Bullet-head came from the East, it follows that Mr. Bullet-head was a wise man; and if collateral proof of the matter be needed, here we have it—Mr. B. was an editor. Irascibility was his sole foible; for in fact the obstinacy of which men accused him was any thing but his foible, since he justly considered it his forte. It was his strongpoint—his virtue; and it would have required all the logic of a Brownson to convince him that it was “any thing else.”

I have shown that Touch-and-go Bullet-head was a wise man; and the only occasion on which he did not prove infallible was when, abandoning that legitimate home for all wise men, the East, he migrated to the city of Alexander-the-Great-o-nopolis, or some place of a similar title, out West.

I must do him the justice to say, however, that when he made up his mind finally to settle in that town, it was under the impression that no newspaper, and consequently no editor, existed in that particular section of the country. In establishing the Tea-Pot he expected to have the field all to himself. I feel confident he never would have dreamed of taking up his residence in Alexander-the-Great-o-nopolis had he been aware that, in Alexander-the-Great-o-nopolis, there lived a gentleman named John Smith (if I rightly remember), who for many years had there quietly grown fat in editing and publishing the Alexander-the-Great-o-nopolis Gazette. It was solely, therefore, on account of having been misinformed, that Mr. Bullet-head found himself in Alex—– suppose we call it Nopolis, “for short”—but, as he did find himself there, he determined to keep up his character for obst—– for firmness, and remain. So remain he did; and he did more; he unpacked his press, type, etc., etc., rented an office exactly opposite to that of the Gazette, and, on the third morning after his arrival, issued the first number of the Alexan—– that is to say, of the Nopolis Tea-Pot:—as nearly as I can recollect, this was the name of the new paper.

The leading article, I must admit, was brilliant—not to say severe. It was especially bitter about things in general—and as for the editor of the Gazette, he was torn all to pieces in particular. Some of Bullet-head’s remarks were really so fiery that I have always, since that time, been forced to look upon John Smith, who is still alive, in the light of a salamander. I cannot pretend to give all the Tea-Pot’s paragraphs verbatim, but one of them runs thus:

“Oh, yes!—Oh, we perceive! Oh, no doubt! The editor over the way is a genius—Oh, my! Oh, goodness, gracious!—what is this world coming to? Oh, tempora! Oh, Moses!”

A philippic at once so caustic and so classical, alighted like a bombshell among the hitherto peaceful citizens of Nopolis. Groups of excited individuals gathered at the corners of the streets. Every one awaited, with heartfelt anxiety, the reply of the dignified Smith.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.